Diabetes and me.
From before Vicki and I had first met I had always been a bit of a traveller. I usually had some sort of field engineering job that required frequent travel away from home and it taught me to be quite self reliant. We were often on our own or beyond any meaningful support from the office so you really needed to be able to solve problems in the field and to think on your feet at any time of the night or day. It suited me and I'd like to think I was good at my job! Plus I learnt to cook and do my own laundry too!
In early May 1994 I was asked to lead a team to Malaysia to assist our parent company with a technology rollout that had left them a little stretched. Typically, it was a huge panic to get away and the situation on the ground when we arrived was wildly different from what we had been expecting.
After a few initial problems the team gelled with the local staff and we were so successful that the project manager was requesting more staff from our company. It was turning into quite a large effort that looked like continuing for some time.
After 4 months I felt that it was time for a break. The worst of the work was done and the team was going well so I was not at all displeased to be recalled home!
I have to say I felt great! While NZ had been in the grip of a freezing winter I was well tanned and fit from the frequent laps of the huge pool at the hotel. I tended to walk a lot as well so I was not surprised at all the compliments from friends and family when I got home! I really thought the tropical lifestyle must have agreed with me as I seemed to be able to eat like a horse and was still losing weight!
As a total opposite the first job when I got back to NZ was in a little tin pot town where the building we were working in had no facilities at all. I guess it was then that I realised just how many times I was actually going to the toilet each day! After the 6th walk around the block to the public convenience each day I was beginning to wonder! I then realised I was taking 4 litres of water to work each day for coffee and drinking and STILL stopping for a drink on the way home?? Was it THAT hot at work??
Finally it was the moving from a hotel room (with bathroom) to our old Villa (with NO en-suite) that rammed it home! I might be able to blame the cheap beer for a half-asleep stumble while in Malaysia but that long trek down the hallway at home was a sure sign something was up!
Now I have to say at 38 I was not expecting this! I was pretty fit and certainly active but I realised early on what might be happening, as my friend at high school had been a type 1 since childhood.
Anyway. I called into the doctors on the way home from the site one afternoon. I announced my symptoms, my theory on what was wrong and suggested a blood test. Doctors hate that! I got the old raised eyebrow and the "oh god here is another clown who opened the text book at D and the
only thing he could pronounce was diabetes look". Anyway. The test was done and I was told to call back the next day!I called from the site about 4pm. It went something like this!
Them: "Hello, Dr XXXXX's Surgery".
Me: "Hi, It's Paul Nuttridge here I was told to ring about my test results"
Them: (somewhat anxiously) "Oh Mr Nuttridge, the nurse needs to talk to you, hang on I'll put you straight through" (overheard was "It's him")The Nurse: (far too casually) "Hi Paul, Um, We need to do another test, where are you?"
Me: I'm on the site, about an hours drive I guess? Shall I make an appointment for first thing next week?"
The Nurse: "Um no. Today would be good. I'll stay on until you get here"
Me: Well, it will take me half an hour to pack up, what time do you open in the morning?"The Nurse: (getting stroppy) "No. It REALLY needs to be today!" "Are you driving?"
Me: (getting worried) "Um, should I be?" "My mate is here, he can drive"
The Nurse: (in no uncertain terms) "Good Idea, see you as soon as you can..TODAY!"Next day they didn't even wait for me to ring! They called me!
The Nurse: "Hi Paul. The Doctor needs to discuss your results, I'll make an appointment"
Me: "No Problem, when is free?"
The Nurse: "When is the soonest you can get here?"
Me: "An hour?"
The Nurse: "It's free then, see you when you get here" (in a tone that told me the Doctor would have been free no matter when I suggested)
Well.. It was all down hill from there. Vicki met me at the surgery and it was all quite a performance. They were all very nice but all very woolly and asking me how I felt etc etc. Fine I replied. Just give me the manual to read tonight and I'll let you know if there are any questions.
Well that didn't cut it! It seems they didn't have a manual!!
I left there feeling very shaky! Their body language had me thinking the worst and frankly I was pretty blimmin stressed! (mind you that could have been the blood sugars of 23)
As it turned out (much to their disbelief and 3 retests) at my ripe old age of 38 I was a genuine type 1. Because we had caught it early on I had no measurable damage (some very slight eye problems now) and was otherwise healthy. It was recommended that we start out on the tablets but that within a couple of years I would be on insulin.
What did shock me was the lack of information. If I had been older or young then there were groups and camps and activities for Africa but for me I was packed home off with a couple of brochures (I think one was left over from the war) and into the care of my loving wife. The district health nurse called once and while we had 2 specialist appointments (that I paid for) that was it! Hopeless!
Luckily, engineers love records! So I happily obsessed about recording my blood sugars and we got on with it. (I could find 1 book in all of ChCh on Diabetes). However it soon became obvious that Vicki had decided to look after me! AARRGGHH!
I loved her for the effort but it was not working for me!
3 months later I demanded a chance at a contract in the USA to escape her clutches. On my first night in Texas I was whisked away by the guy I was working for in a 1967 Chevelle with blown big block to a swap meet! I rang Vicki from the back seat hurtling down I67 with my arm around a six pack of Bud and a monster V8 growling in front of me! Petrol head heaven! (Vicki was a little less than impressed) Best Of all I found that I could buy books by the dozen on diabetes in the US. Then I read my first book by June Biermann and Barbara Toohey!
It was like a bolt from the blue! A positive message! Someone else was living with all my issues and not trying to hide it!! . It changed my life! I re-learnt how to look after myself and regained my sense of me! I was not a patient anymore I was me again! I even figured out how to use diabetes to my advantage to get myself and all my disgruntled fellow travellers off a snowbound commuter plane at Milwaukee Airport!! ("look you can take us back to the terminal and I can walk off or we stay here and you carry me off. Your choice! Here's the name of my company's lawyer.") Hey! After 3 hours with no onboard toilet we were desperate!
On my return from the USA Vicki told me that she could see straight away that my spirit was "healed" and it is the best thing I ever could have done!
Life has gone on and there have been highs and lows! (little diabetes joke - just to inject a little humour). Going onto insulin has freed me up a lot and it's the best thing I ever did! (5 shots a day! Slow acting morning and night, fast acting before meals)
My night vision is getting worse but being an engineer I just 'improved' the headlight on my motorcycle to compensate! I keep pretty good health but now that I work in the office I struggle a little to keep the weight off. I got another dog that demands to be walked and took up kayaking. My middle bits are still spreading gently but I'm fighting it and mostly winning.
My tests are always good (I test 3 times a day) and I feel in control! I have tried 'support groups' but they always fold as people our age are busy with careers and growing family (not to mention ageing parents). It still seems that if you want to do anything, you do it for yourself! In this game
knowledge is life and it still annoys me that I have to find it all for myself! I get sick of the sickly approach of the national society magazine and the tut tutting when they find out I still ride and enjoy a stout red on occasion (well ok, most occasions)But! I'm not angry! I hold a responsible job, work hard and I get tired sometimes but who doesn't? Still! I aim to live forever (sue me if I fail), still listen to loud music and (on occasion) act disgracefully! Most importantly I have accepted the condition, work with it and learnt what
works for me (and what does not work).Most of all I have learnt to be happy.
Alongside my books I value the folk at Realitycheck as a breath of fresh air! To me the mechanics of the condition are pretty simple! I'm not a bloody saint! (and I never will be) I am going to drink a bit too much some nights and I will ride my bike too fast sometimes! But I also know just how truly crappy you feel (as a guy) if you throw a massive hypo half way through making love to your beloved and that is the bit they seem to leave out of the brochures! Yet it is your attitude to the condition is THE most important thing!
The key to life is not what card's you are dealt but in how you play those cards!
It's up to you! But a bit of push start would be nice!