I was diagnosed at age 19 when I was in early second year of an engineering degree at Adelaide Uni. At the time I was completely level headed about it, and really thought that it wasn't that big a deal and I would tackle the challenge head on. I got straight into the regime of tortuous injecting and found that it wasn't really that hard (I later found out I was in the "honeymoon" period, where I was still producing some home made insulin). The worst bit was trying to get straight answers on the future outlook of the condition.
Once the initial "excitement" wore off I started having new problems. My sugar levels seemed to get worse and worse, and this really worried me when I would read in all sorts of literature (even blood glucometer meters) that a level of above 13.9 could mean a medical emergency, and I would get this every other day. Also the variability in BGL's was a shock (I can go from 20 to 2 in an hour or vice versa). And what makes it go up and down... hmmm I'm still trying to refine multiple theories.
My true acceptance of what I was diagnosed with really only set in much later, perhaps after a year later and then occasionally in waves when I realise what a non-relenting effort it is. Occasionally I find myself getting angry or depressed, particularly when I try so hard to get good levels, do everything right and then get a level of 22. One of the challenges I find is to remain consistent with it, even when I can't control it perfectly. I am somewhat anal by nature...all or nothing... About 3 years after diagnosis, I was getting a bit slack, thought I knew how it worked, taking less BGL's (maybe 1-2/day) etc etc. I was sitting at work and had a very strange experience. I started to become very confused, but hey this couldn't be a low, after all it was someones birthday and well there was some cake around the office earlier... I hadn't been testing BGL's at work, and in fact not many people in the office even knew I was diabetic (more than a year after starting work there... idiot..). Anyway over the next half hour or so I got more and more confused and the day turned into somewhat of a dream. The bits I remember are falling asleep at my computer, repeatedly asking my boss what is going on, walking off down the stairs when a friend was alerted that something was wrong, hearing that "Nick is diabetic, maybe he needs some insulin"!! (shit!!) people swarming around me, crying when the CEO came in, people ringing my wife and miraculously getting through and then being given a glass of coke. Wow. This was kind of embarrassing - but hey people learnt that I was diabetic and I even got the arvo off work.
Then there was the time I went for a big bike ride, got home, felt kind of sleepy and had a lie down and then 1 hour later my wife came home and found me "fitting" on the bed....hmm very scary. It's really amazing how fast the BGL can drop. All these experiences showed to me the importance of monitoring my level. Since then I have become quite fanatical about my routine, eating habits, and testing BGL's (now about >4/day, often I have no idea what it will be). This year I go to the gym twice a week and I find this really helps. Although of course that one time you slack off, wow, you pay for it.
There's no room for compromise with diabetes, oh except for that one piece of chocolate cake at my birthday, and that "once off" pizza and beer night, oh yeah and those cocco pops for breaky yesterday, and just a taste of those new crackly lollies.....etc etc. One thing that has changed is at the start of this year I began a medicine degree, which was partly due to medical interest stemming from having diabetes. This has really helped my understanding of the condition and has made me more positive, and I guess "in control". I hate to have the wool pulled over my eyes, but it is amazing to see, from a medico's perspective, how little is really known.
Anyway, thats a quick summary of some of the stuff that sticks out in my
"walk with diabetes"!!